Relationship Audit · Your results guide
Find your result
Once you have completed the 12 questions, add up your scores below and find the range your total falls into. Read your result slowly. It is a starting point for honest reflection, not a verdict on your relationship.
Your relationship snapshot
Add up your scores
Add the two question scores for each area (each area is out of 20), then add all six areas for your overall total out of 120.
| Dimension | Questions | Score / 20 |
|---|---|---|
| Your relationship with yourself | Questions 1-2 | _______ / 20 |
| Emotional connection and safety | Questions 3-4 | _______ / 20 |
| Communication and conflict | Questions 5-6 | _______ / 20 |
| Intimacy and desire | Questions 7-8 | _______ / 20 |
| Partnership and shared life | Questions 9-10 | _______ / 20 |
| Choice and the future | Questions 11-12 | _______ / 20 |
Your result
Which range does your total fall into?
Find your overall score out of 120. Your result is the stage that matches it.
Relational Crisis
Your relationship is currently experiencing significant strain, lacking the foundational safety, trust, and connection you deserve. At this stage of life, continuing to suppress your needs or walking on eggshells is no longer sustainable. It is time to pause and evaluate the reality of this dynamic with clear eyes.
What this stage is asking of you
- Acknowledge the reality of your situation without forcing yourself into immediate, drastic decisions.
- Seek individual support to clarify your boundaries, process your emotions, and rebuild your internal sense of self.
- Determine if both you and your partner possess the genuine willingness and capacity to engage in deep, reparative work.
The Midlife Crossroads
On paper, your relationship might look fine, but internally you are feeling a profound sense of disconnection and quiet questioning. You have outgrown surface-level dynamics and are craving a deeper, more grounded, and authentic way of relating. The 'good enough' standard is no longer enough for this next chapter of your life.
What this stage is asking of you
- Stop minimizing your internal dissatisfaction; your desire for more depth, connection, and authenticity is entirely valid.
- Begin expressing your unvoiced needs to your partner in small, grounded ways to test the waters of vulnerability.
- Explore how your own midlife identity shifts and personal growth are impacting your relational expectations.
Grounded. Ready for more
You share a solid foundation of respect and teamwork, but there are specific areas where emotional or physical intimacy has plateaued. As a high-achiever, you are ready to transition from a highly functional partnership to one of profound conscious connection. The groundwork is there; it simply requires intentional deepening.
What this stage is asking of you
- Identify the specific areas—such as emotional vulnerability or physical intimacy—where you are still holding back.
- Initiate open, curious conversations about your shared vision for the next decade of your lives together.
- Practice moving out of 'management mode' (running the logistics of life) and into deeper, unhurried emotional presence with your partner.
Conscious & Connected Partnership
You have cultivated a rare, deeply conscious relationship characterized by high trust, emotional safety, and authentic expression. You are successfully navigating the complexities of midlife and personal evolution as a united, intentional team. Your connection is grounded, real, and deeply fulfilling.
What this stage is asking of you
- Celebrate the ongoing work and mutual commitment you have both invested to reach this level of respect and desire.
- Continue to stay deeply curious about each other as you both inevitably continue to evolve and grow.
- Consider how you might mentor or model this conscious, grounded dynamic for others in your sphere of influence.
Reflect on what stands out
Let the numbers open a quieter conversation
These prompts are not about fixing anything today. They are about noticing, honestly, what your answers are pointing to. Take them slowly, in writing if you can.
Prompt 01
Which area received your highest score? What is already working well here?
Prompt 02
Which area received your lowest score? What might this be asking you to pay attention to?
Prompt 03
Which answer felt most difficult to give honestly?
Prompt 04
What is one conversation, boundary or action that could support a meaningful change?
Prompt 05
What would you like to understand more clearly about yourself or your relationship?
How to use your results
A snapshot of your experience, not a judgement
Look beneath the total
Your total score is a snapshot of your own experience and not a verdict on your relationship. A total can hide important differences between areas, so look at each dimension as well as the overall score. Your lowest-scoring areas may offer useful starting points for reflection and conversation.
A reflection tool, not a diagnosis
This is a self-reflection tool, not a validated psychological assessment. It cannot determine whether you should stay together or separate, and it does not replace individual or professional support where needed.
Important safety note
If you experience coercion, intimidation, violence or fear for your safety, prioritise your safety and seek appropriate individual support. These circumstances should not be treated simply as communication problems to resolve together.